Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Eleanora

As I was cleaning up Christmas this afternoon, I stumbled across an old journal that was tucked away in a forgotten box. I have always been a keeper of journals. I have my Mum to thank for that - from an early age, she instilled in me the important power of words. Mum constantly reminded me that there are lessons to be learned from reading about your past struggles and former dreams - that someday, when looking back at my memoirs, I would grimace, or cheer, or cry, or laugh with my younger self.

Today, as I turned pages of girlish ramblings in my forgotten journal, I stumbled across one entry that struck me as humbling, an idea that I needed to be reminded of in this new year. It's not often that when looking through old journals, I find something that I want to share. Mostly, I cringe at my near-sightedness, or I blush at my simplicity. However, today I want to share an excerpt that still rings true some five years later....

September 22, 2007

"I can't recall whether her name was Eleanora or not, but I know that she was definitely the last person whose hair I wanted to cut and style. She was big and slovenly looking. A long scar stretched across her mouth that made it difficult to speak and swallow. Her hair was thin and greasy. After having scrubbed and shampooed her hair, her scalp still smelled horrible and it was the most disgusting yellow colour. She made me want to gag. I had completely run out of genuine pleasantries for Eleanora before even half of her hair cut was done. And then I heard how she had been diagnosed with cancer in June, which prohibited her from having a proper shower or bathing of any sorts. This was the first time that she was able to come back to the salon to have her hair done in months. She was so excited to cling to the one hope of fleeting femininity. The cancer had deformed and bloated her beyond attractive recognition. And yet, Eleanora was like a young girl, excited about curls and bows and princess-like fantasies. As she sat under the dryer, I went into the bathroom to scrub my hands of the filthy, greasy feeling her hair left. The last thing I really wanted to do was run my fingers through Eleanora's hair. Then it hit me. For so long, I had been praying that the Lord would give me a servant's heart. And God loved Eleanora. She was a beautiful princess in His eyes. He loved the sick. He healed the lepers. He was a servant. Guilt washed over me as I thought of how insensitive I had been to a truly broken woman. As I combed out Eleanora's curls, I took on the servant's heart. I overlooked her peeling scalp, her disfigured face, the smell that permeated her whole being. In the end, she turned towards me and barely whispered, "You're such a dear. Isn't it so encouraging when we meet followers of the Lord?" I didn't know what to say. I smiled and looked at the woman who had transformed into an angel sent from God to remind me that His love extends to every Eleanora this world knows."

Monday, January 7, 2013

New Beginnings to Old Things

A new year means new resolutions. I've never been a keeper of resolutions. I don't like to be limited to obligations that remain unfulfilled by the time next January rolls around. BUT, this year, I've decided to take a shot at being resolute. (Perhaps my first resolve should be to faithfully attend to my blog? Anyone notice how it has been over a year since I've posted on here?) Perhaps its foolish to make my intentions for 2013 public.  However, knowing that I am at least accountable to a smattering of blog followers means that the chances of my resolutions being accomplished are slightly higher than if I kept the list muddled up in the back corners of my mind. So, here it goes...
  1. Two thousand and thirteen will be the year that I write more. Whether I write one sentence in my tattered Moleskin journal, whether I tap out a blog post, or whether I hunker down with my silly imagination and scratch out a story, this is the year that I will write. Today, alone, I have been encouraged on three separate occasions by three separate people to write. Being reminded of something that once was a passion and that has now fallen by the wayside is sad. And so, I am going to tap into that wordy creativity that used to possess an awkward teenage girl, and I am going to write. 
  2. I came across my box of oil paints, tucked away in a dusty suitcase that was shoved carelessly behind bins of Christmas decorations. Three months from now, my Husby and I will be proud owners of our  first home.
    Me, standing in front of the "shell" of our townhouse
     With our first home comes walls and walls of blank space, waiting for pictures to be hung. I used to paint and draw and sketch. Painting, along with writing, is something that has long flown out the window. However, I'm determined that this is the year that I will paint at least ONE piece of artwork to hang on our newly acquired wall space. 
  3. Eating locally has always been important to us, however, over the past couple of months, our busy schedules have loaned themselves more to frozen pizza and 5-ingredients-or-less-in-30-minutes-or-less kind of meals. In 2013, I want to be more aware of what we are eating. Though I seem to have a love/hate relationship with my itty-bitty-dysfunctional-postage-stamp-size-kitchen, I am going to purpose to spend more time in there, experimenting with ingredients from our local farmer's market.
    My itty-bitty-dysfunctional-postage-stamp-size-kitchen. Not exactly enough space for culinary magic.
    Maybe (if I remember to write!!!) I will share a few recipes that I have stumbled upon. 
  4. Our church has recently been doing a sermon series on what it means to be a disciple within our church body and surrounding community. My prayer is that this is the year that I will stop and spend more time listening to the needs of those around me - that I will look for ways to reach out to others, to be a friend to those who need a friend, and to be a disciple of Christ in the less glamorous situations around me daily. 
  5. I want to become more aware of how I spend, or rather, waste my time. Lately, it has become very apparent that there are many things that I allow myself to "indulge" in for hours on end...Facebook, Pinterest, the Ikea website, Pinterest, Pinterest, Pinterest....Before I know it, I raise my bleary eyes from my computer screen to the clock on the wall and realize that a good couple of hours has just slipped through my fingers. Perhaps I need to take one day a week where I remain "unplugged." Or maybe I need to limit myself to an allotment of time each day - nothing more, nothing less.
Some of these resolutions may be easier than others. Some may take a bit more courage and confidence, while others will cause me to gain a more inward, quiet grasp of what is important. When written out, these ideas seem like a tall order.Then again, it is 2013, and I have only ONE 2013 to live. Here's to making the best of it!